Helping you helping me to get you
by Bound-to-Evanesce
Summary: Xander can't really see what's wrong with his relationship. Either that or he's in denial. Either way, it can't end too good. AX SX Abuse! SLASH!
1. Default Chapter

Summary: Xander enlists Spike's help to woo Angel.

Chapter one: Asking for help

It had taken Alexander Harris literally months to come to grips with his new-found attraction to Angel. At first, he had thought his attraction to the tall, dark and handsome vampire was spawned by his lack of options at Wolfram & Hart but then, when he really thought about it, he realised that over time, the strong feelings of dislike that he had for the man slowly turned into strong feelings of like but not yet love. He found himself enjoying the long, occasionally boring, conferences as long as Angel was present.

Xander headed up the California division of the Watcher's Council which was now affiliated with Wolfram & Hart. He had his own spacious corner office with a nice view of LA and a nice flat with a balcony not too far away from work. Anyone in his position should have been content with their life. He had a well-paying job with excellent benefits, a nice home, an awesome car, and was in great health but he was lonely. All his friends had someone: Willow had Kennedy, Giles had Olivia, Wesley had Fred, Buffy had some new guy but little Xander was all alone. The man he wanted was undoubtedly, straight as a ruler. He was almost content just to admire from afar. So, while all his friends were out having fun wherever they were, Xander was spending his time sitting on his Italian leather sofa with Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher with a warming bottle of beer in his hand and empty take-away containers on the coffee table.

On the not too rare occasion, Xander would drive down to The BackDoor to find someone suitable. He would buy them a drink, take his conquest back to his place, fuck him senseless and promptly kick him out using a lame excuse about having to be at work early.

Monday morning saw Xander sitting at his desk sorting through some paper work he needed to forward to Giles in England. He glanced at his computer screen, noting the time and dialled the extension. "Harm, put the nail file down and get the coffee I asked you to get ten minutes ago." Xander thumped his head against his desk and sighed. This would prove to be a very long day for him.

Five minutes later, a scowling, Barbie-type slammed a mug of coffee down on the glass covering Xander's desk. "When are you gonna get your own secretary? I'm sick of you and Angel ordering me around." She whined.

"Peaches is wants you." A new voice chimed from the door. Harmony huffed and exited the office dramatically, making her way down to her employer's office.

"What do you want?" Xander groaned.

Spike threw himself down in one of the chairs in front of Xander's desk. "'M bored. You ever going to tell tall, dark, and broody that ya fancy him?" He asked casually.

Xander's mouth opened and closed several times before he realised that words weren't going to come out. "Am I that obvious?" He asked while sipping his coffee. Spike gave him a look as if to say 'duh'. "It wouldn't be any use telling him anyway. He's as straight as they get."

Spike laughed hysterically. "You sure you're gay? A fuckin' blind person could tell Peaches is gay from half a kilometre away! Believe me, he's not straight. And hat about the slayer? He tried to convince himself he was straight. Didn't work." He checked the nail polish chipping off his nails. "So, when're you gonna ask me to help you snag the ponce?"

"Get out of my office before I tell Harmony and her friends that they can do your hair." He threatened. He held back his laughter as a scared Spike got up and left the office quickly. He sat back in his chair and recalled all the time he had spent with Angel. Of course he was gay! How could he have missed it!? Still, even if he was gay, what were the chances he would like someone like Xander? Xander was the Star Wars loving, best friend of girls, boy next door. He wasn't anything special. Angel, on the other hand, was different. He had fashion model good looks, smart, occasionally witty, mysterious, quiet type.

He looked at the clock on his computer screen and saw that it was just past eleven and got up. Xander took his jacket from the coat stand by his office door and walked to Harmony's desk. "I'm going to lunch." He stated and waited by the lifts. Just as the doors dinged open, he saw Spike coming down the stairs.

"You gonna take me up on my offer?" He asked, rocking back and forth on his feet.

"Sure, why not. Haven't got anything to lose, right?" Xander sighed and stepped into the waiting lift, punching the button for the ground floor.

A/N: What do you think? I know, it's short but chapters will get longer.


	2. Delivery!

Reviews:

Fun- Xander's trying to find a replacement, someone that could make him forget that he had feeling for Angel. He doesn't want any kind of relationship with anyone that's not Angel. Remember, his friends have all moved out of the country, Sunnydale is gone, Anya died, and since high school he hasn't had a normal life. I think he's just looking for a person, or vessel, if you will, to pour his emotions into, which in his case, he does by having meaningless sex. I also think that subconsciously, Xander knows that Angel is gay and is trying to make him jealous by having these brief affairs

Rivana- It is kind of weird seeing Spike as a matchmaker but for him, he probably thinks of it as his own real-life soap opera.

Chapter 2: Delivery!

Xander sat at his desk playing Minesweeper on his computer when an excited Spike burst into his office. He plopped down on the edge of the desk and took one of the red Twizzlers from the package by the cup of pens. "I have good news, whelp!" Xander gestured for him to continue. "I invited Peaches over for a drink and we got to chatting and it looks as though the broody one is single and has his eye on someone but he wasn't pissed enough to tell me who." That got Xander's attention.

He decided that he would ignore what the blond vampire had said about Angel being interested in someone and just hear that he was single. "Anything else?" He asked hopefully. Spike shook his head, thus earning him a smack over the head with his twizzler. "You're supposed to be helping me!" Xander whined.

"I also had a muffin basket delivered to him from you…What?! He likes muffins." Spike slid quickly off the desk and ran from the office before Xander could hit him again.

The office door had barely closed before Angel stepped in brandishing a little note card. "Wanna tell me why Spike just ran out of here with a twizzler?" Xander laughed and shook his head. "Anyway, I just wanted to come and thank you for the muffin basket. You really didn't have to do that, Xander… So, Spike tells me you don't hate me anymore." He watched as a slight blush rose on the handsome young man's cheeks and smiled.

"I've grown to tolerate you." Xander said.

"So, were you serious about what you said on the note?"

Xander was lost. He was going to kill Spike for this. "Um, What? Jog my memory, will ya?"

"I figured Spike had something to do with this. I mean, how would you know I liked cranberry muffins?" He handed the small card to Xander who took it and scowled.

"I'll kill him." Xander laughed. It then dawned on him that now Angel knew how he felt and he began hitting his head on his desk. "He doesn't know what subtlety means, does he?"

Angel just laughed. "No, he doesn't. If it makes you feel any better, I was trying to gather the courage to ask you for a drink." He looked straight into Xander's eyes and asked, "Can I buy you a drink after work?"

Xander could feel himself getting lost in those deep brown eyes and barely heard what the older man was saying. "Huh?" His heart began to beat faster as the object o his affection leaned closer.

"I asked if you would let me buy you a drink after work." Angel heard the former Scooby's heart rate quicken and smiled inwardly at the effect he had on the other man. Things were moving faster than scheduled and he thanked whatever deities where out there for Spike's forwardness.

"S-sure," Xander swallowed audibly. "That would be nice."

A/N: Sorry the chapter's so short but that's how things worked out. Update. I refuse to upload the next chapter until I get at least 15 reviews.


	3. Cancelled

Helping Me Helping You to Help Me Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing, as usual.

A/N: Things will get angsty-er from here on. If you don't like that, tough.

Chapter 3:

Things couldn't be more perfect for Xander Harris. He had finally nabbed the guy he was head-over-heels for, had a well-paying job and had just moved in with his lover. It had been two months since Spike had sent the muffin basket to Angel which had lead to their first date.

Angel had been nothing but perfect since they had gotten together. He was courteous, kind, passionate… The list went on and on. Angel had even waited two weeks before kissing Xander and another three weeks before they first had sex.

The late afternoon sun filtered in through the necro-tempered windows in Angel's office. Xander stood in front of the window watching the sun set behind the buildings while he waited for the meeting his lover was in to end. He glanced to the wall clock and saw it was quarter past seven. Their reservations for the restaurant were for half past seven. Xander sighed a heavy sigh and sank into the chair behind the desk. This would be the third dinner that they would probably cancel because Angel was 'too tired to do anything' after these long meetings besides rip open a bag of blood, watch whatever was on television and have sex. His thoughts drifted back to a few weeks ago when his lover would have cancelled a meeting just to spend time with Xander. Things had changed far too quickly for Xander's liking but there wasn't really anything he could do to change that. They hardly ever talked anymore; Angel was always too busy for that or anything that didn't involve sex. A light, girlish knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts.

"Yeah?" The door opened and Harmony entered with a slightly sad smile. The blonde girl had befriended Xander when he started dating Angel. Even though she wasn't all too bright and was particularly shallow, she was a good friend to Xander and listened to him when he really needed it.

"Angel buzzed and said the meeting was gonna run over and he was going for a drink with some of the guys after. Sorry, Xander. Wanna pop some popcorn and see watch a movie? That might cheer you up." She suggested.

"Rain-check?" Xander got up and sighed, taking one last look out the window. "I'm just gonna go upstairs, shower and order a pizza… This is the third time this week, Harm. I'm starting to think he's scheduling meeting late to avoid going out with me." Harmony embraced her friend and decided to tag along anyway.

It was past ten o'clock by the time a drunken Angel stumbled into the home he shared with Xander. He made his way over to where Xander and Harmony were sitting on the couch laughing and eating pizza with a dozen beer cans in front of them while they watched a movie. "Hey Xan." He laughed, placing a sloppy kiss on his lover's cheek. The response he got was a smile, a very disappointed smile. With a roll of his eyes and a mumbled 'be that way,' Angel turned to head towards the bathroom. Moments later, Angel emerged clad only in a pair of black and blue plaid boxers and hauled Xander, by the arm, into the bedroom. An annoyed Harmony took that as her cue to leave.

Xander arrived for work uncharacteristically early the next morning, sore and tired. He sat down at his desk slowly and turned on his computer. After going over several new reports from the Watcher's Council that ad come in the day before, Xander felt as though he were about to crash and decided on a major dose of caffeine. But before he was able to call Harmony to fetch him some coffee, Spike bounded into his open office carrying two mugs of coffee.

"So, how was dinner last night?" Spike asked even though he already knew the answer by the look on his friend's face.

"He cancelled and went drinking instead." Xander reached to pick up his cup and took a sip, though not before dribbling some down the front of his shirt because it was still too hot. "Shit." He cursed, wiping away as much as he could before retrieving another shirt from the cabinet behind his desk. "Harmony came over and we ordered in." He told Spike as he unbuttoned his shirt. Oblivious as usual, Xander hardly noticed the blonde vampire ogling his chest through the thin, white t-shirt he wore under his dress shirt.

"The great pouf is going out drinking a lot lately, isn't he?" Spike mused aloud. In his head, Spike counted the total number of times Angel had cancelled a date with Xander and frowned inwardly. He would never admit it but he hated seeing the boy looking so down. It was times like these when he wished he hadn't helped set the two up. He watched Xander sit back down and was caught off guard when the other man winced. After being in the company of Angelus for so long, Spike knew that pained expression quite well. "Everything alright there, mate?" Xander nodded and blew on the hot coffee before sipping it. Spike wasn't buying it one bit.

A soft knock at the door brought the two friends out of their early morning haze. If Spike had a beating heart, it would have been pounding in his chest at the bright smile that spread across Xander's face. The cause for Xander's beaming smile was standing in his doorway holding two dozen yellow and white roses. "I'll just leave the two of you alone." Spike excused himself and left, closing the door behind him.

"I'm sorry I cancelled dinner last night and that I was so rough. It won't happen again." Angel placed the flowers on top of a stack of papers and leaned over the desk to kiss his boyfriend.

And as usual, Xander believed him.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Joss Whedon and his people do.

Rating for this chapter: PG-13

Warnings: mentions of physical abuse and mental abuse.

Author's Rant: I went to see Alexander over the weekend with my husband. That's what I love about the states, movies come to the cinema sooner. Yes, I know I am a guy but can someone please tell me why when Harrison asked what I thought about Colin Farrell and Jonathan Rhys Meyers he got all pissy when I told him they looked good. Okay, I'm good now. By the way, I just started a Yahoo group for updates of my fics. You can join by going to my profile.

Chapter 4:

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon and, so far, it was perfect. There was absolutely nothing that could go wrong, maybe. Two tousled tufts of brown hair stuck out from under the blanket on the bed. Soft, muffled endearments and the occasional gasp filled the air as Xander and Angel relaxed in bed, hands trailing over exposed skin. Smirking sweetly, Angel's fingers walked their way down his lover's body before finally coming to settle, pressing lightly against his fully stretched entrance. He giggled as Xander writhed against his hand.

"Angel, I love you but after last night and this morning, I seriously doubt I'll ever get it up again." Xander chuckled. He let out a startled gasp as the vampire thrust two fingers inside him.

Angel ignored him. When he wasn't getting much of a response from his lover, Angel moved between Xander's legs and pushed himself hard into the younger man's entrance which, luckily, was slicked with a fair amount of semen and lubricant. He grinned, loving it when Xander attempted to get away.

"Angel, come on, stop." Xander pleaded. His body was too sensitive from their numerous bouts of sex in the hours before and he was past discomfort and in a bit of pain. "Get off!" The brunette forcefully shoved the vampire off of him and jumped up from the bed, pulling on whatever clothing he could find as he hastily left the bedroom.

Angel's anger flared as his lover, yet again, pushed him away. Growling, Angel got out of bed and stomped after Xander not caring one bit that he was naked. "What the fuck is your problem?!" He shouted, eyeing Xander who stood with a mug of coffee in his hand, leaning against the counter.

"My problem? _My problem?!_You completely ignored me! I didn't want to have sex but obviously what I want means absolutely nothing in your little world, does it?" Xander's arms were flailing, his mug crashing against the wall in the middle of his tirade.

"Clean it up." Angel demanded. When Xander did nothing Angel lost it. "Listen here, Alexander. When I tell you to do something, I expect it done…and promptly." His voice was low and cold and it sent a shiver of fear down Xander's spine as he backed his young lover against the wall. His hands were gripping Xander's forearms so tight that the former Scooby knew dark bruises would be forming. "You need me. If I hadn't offered you a job when you arrived in LA, who knows where you would be now. You should be thankful that I decided to take you in. You'd be asking 'would you like fries with that?' about now if it weren't for me."

"Let go of me, Angel." And, surprisingly, Angel did let go of Xander's arms.

"You know, you're lucky you have me. No one else would love you, you're too fat…Now clean up that mess!"

Xander reluctantly began picking up the pieces of his shattered mug. This was a normal day for the couple. Xander thought about how lucky he was to have gotten off this easy. Now he knew where that whole Irish temper thing came from. In the past few months they had been together, Xander had suffered numerous injuries at the hand of his lover, not that he would tell anyone about it though. It was only sometimes, anyway. Most of the time, Angel was the perfect boyfriend. There were times when they would lie in on Saturdays and do nothing but talk and kiss. Yeah, it was cheesy and a bit girly but it was nice. It was times like those that made Xander completely forget all the bad times. In Xander's mind, the good far outweighed the bad.

Xander had just finished sopping up the spilt coffee when Angel came back into the room in a pair of Xander's boxers. Angel wrapped his arms around his lover's waist. "I'm sorry about before. You know how I get. I didn't mean it, Xander. I do love you, though. I'm drawing a bath for us, if you'd care to join me." He pressed a kiss to the young man's temple and slipped Xander's hand into his. Xander turned and smiled.

Despite Angel's drastic mood changes and excitability, Xander could hardly ever say 'no' to him when he was so sweet. He let Angel lead him into the large bathroom and undress him. For nearly an hour, the two men relaxed in the hot bath taking turns washing each other.

"I've been the worst boyfriend lately, haven't I?" Angel sighed, tightening his hold on Xander. "I'll be better, you'll see." Leaning over a pile of towels, Angel found the little lack pouch he was looking for. Nervously, Xander watched as Angel tipped the contents of the pouch into his free hand and took hold of Xander's hand. "Stay with me forever." It was more of a command than anything and before he could respond, a silver claddagh ring was slipped onto his finger.

"That's your idea of a proposal?" Xander laughed.

Angel laughed and kissed him happily. "That's a 'yes,' right?" Xander nodded and soon found himself scooped up in Angel's arms and carried into their bedroom.

Co-workers celebrated the announcement of their boss' engagement for the next two days, offering words of congratulations to both men. None of the employees of Wolfram & Hart had seen either man so happy.

"Oh, it's _so_ romantic! Just like a fairy tale!" Spike mocked in a high falsetto as he swooned into a chair by Xander's desk, breaking into a fit of laughter. "So, everything's peachy in paradise again?"

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Xander groaned, his hands hitting several small stacks of papers on his desk. "I have to get these reports to Gunn in, oh, about two hours." Spike got the message and got up, leaving his friend to finish his work. Xander sighed in relief. Finally, he thought, I can get some work done.


End file.
